Fighting PMS

(Princess/Prince Mentality Syndrome)

Permit me to set the stage, the alarm clock goes off and it is way too early! You smack the top of it hard enough to bruise and find yourself hoping your hand actually went through it, knowing it would just have to be replaced and that would make you more angry, you’re happy to find you hand just stings. The first cognoscente thought to fly across your mind is
“Why me, God?” You drag your nearly lifeless body out of bed and make your way to the lou, when you would rather turn around and throw the covers over your head. You turn the shower on and cold water hits your body for 2 seconds before the warm hits and you nearly scream into the yet silent house.
“God, really, I’m up, can’t this be any easier?” You get to work and after you have fought for parking, spilt coffee onto your shirt, tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and collapsed into the chair at your desk, you are convinced that no one could possibly have it worse than you. You start to make a list of everything that is wrong in your life and by 0845 you are pretty sure that if the world knew what you were going through they would pay you to sleep in and stay home, just like Elton John. There is an example of someone who could not give two hoots about Jesus and he has life so good, why do I struggle? You think,
“God, why do I have to be apart from my spouse? I know loads of people that hate their spouse, they would love the vacation! But mine, whom I love and adore, You send away?” By noon, you are sure that God has been confused about what was in your best interest, because He has promised to give you a hope and a future, not break your heart, right? You get in the car to go home, which is this empty lifeless, but for the dog, building, wrapped in memories of your spouse, he is on the couch, the bed, in the kitchen or upstairs. You go to the kitchen and you are sure that he would be cooking dinner just now in some parallel existence, because you still are too pregnant sick to cook. You cry out to the Lord and say,
“God, this is too hard, I am all alone, why has this happened and why does it still happen?” This is a demonstration of what I refer to as the Princess Mentality Syndrome(PMS), if you are male, it would be prince, but the idea is the same. You can’t see past your own troubles to realize that others have it loads worse, or even look to see what the Lord is doing in your life with all the circumstances in it, good or bad.(Romans 8:28)
It is then out of the darkened haze that has become your PMSing heart, a voice says,
“Pray and be with Me.” My voice came in the form of my Pastor’s wife and she said,
“Dani, read and study Philippians 3. That should help you.” I thought sure, I’ll read it why not. Once PMS sets in, I really just want my husband, nothing else will do but I’ll humor her. It is so funny to think that PMS is a symptom of the heart, a heart that really needs God to get in there and clean it out, to once again be made number one, but I always just want my spouse. This cycle has been happening since my husband left but thankfully, God has placed people in my life to tell me where I should really be going.
So when I studied Philippians 3, what did I learn? First, I like to learn the context in which a book of the bible was written. It gives me a better idea of the situation that the disciple or prophet was coming from. In the case of Philippians. Paul was in prison in Rome awaiting a sentence that would most probably be death. Nero was the emperor during Paul’s imprisonment for Christ(Phil 1:13). A brief history lesson, Nero blamed the Christians for the burning of a section of Rome(a section he conveniently wanted to clear for his own purposes) and subsequently began years of persecution. He used to burn their bodies to light the circus races. # Since the entire palace guard knew that he was a Christian,(Phil 1:13) the chances of him getting a “fair” trial was slim to none. Yet, he rejoiced!
So, what is Philippians about? What does Paul advise those who love Jesus to do. Rejoice in all things . . .
“Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.”(Phil 1:18-19)
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”(Phil 4:4) Here from prison, awaiting death, he says to rejoice in the Lord. Philippians is only four chapters long, very short. In the whole book, Paul mentions rejoicing six times!
What is my problem? I’m making my husband’s and I’s first baby, I am awaiting his joyful homecoming, God has given me a family and love on this earth and I’m complaining . . .I have no excuse, Paul was a human sold out for Christ, so much so that he was beheaded for being Christian.#(Little Christ is what that word meant originally and was meant as an insult) I was shocked to realize that one of the most prolific writers of the New Testament, was so very persecuted! I had not considered how much,
“been in prison more frequently, w been flogged more severely, x and been exposed to death again and again. y
2Co 11:24 Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes z minus one.
2Co 11:25 Three times I was beaten with rods, a once I was stoned, b three times I was shipwrecked, c I spent a night and a day in the open sea,
2Co 11:26 I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, d in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, e in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. f “#
So, I thought to myself, if a great disciple had problems, why did PMS come out of me at all? Should I not expect troubles if I am walking with the Lord? Jesus said,
Jn 15:18 “If the world hates you, t keep in mind that it hated me first.
Jn 15:19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you u out of the world. That is why the world hates you. v #
So I should rejoice!!! Because it is so hard, because sometimes I feel like nothing is going right, even God’s own Son had troubles, He was persecuted and crucified! He came in love, He came to save us from Hell, a fate worse than death! He came to bring us unto Himself and the world killed Him for it! He knew the most horrible pain to save me! Thankfully, He ascended to heaven to be our great intercessor and will come back to get those who believe in Him and His gift to us!(Romans 10:9) Because I am His the world will hate me and I am so thankful for that! The more they hate me, the more I love the Lord, the more I should be rejoicing because I am really free!
I have to stop the PMS, I have to stop focusing on myself and my problems, I must look at the bigger picture, chase after Jesus and wait until I get my hubby back! I must count my blessings and realize that it could be so much worse in a world filled with hate, rage, anger, hunger, murder and every other ugly thing! Someday, Jesus is coming back to clean house, these ugly things will be taken away, in the mean time, I’m to focus on Him, rejoice in Him, be thankful that He opened my eyes to His truth and thank Him for the sweet beauties that He fills my life with!

# NIV Archaeological Study Bible 2005,pg 1931 Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan.
# http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_of_Tarsus#Arrest_and_death
# The Holy Bible, New International Version. Pradis CD-ROM:2Co 11:23.
# The Holy Bible, New International Version. Pradis CD-ROM:Jn 15:18.

Freedom WITH responsibility not from it.

Many Christians think just like this:
“I am an adult and responsible for my own life. What I do and how I act has no bearing on others and their walk with the Lord so they should stop looking to me for an example.” Or there is this one,
“The liberty in Jesus means I can do what I want and everyone just needs to watch out for their own. If I want to do this and that, I can and if they can’t, well, then don’t!” Our hearts have become so selfish and hard towards our brothers and sisters in Christ, not only them, but the unbelieving world. Like Cain, we say, “Am I my brother’s keeper?“ (Gen 4:9) Unbelievers look at us and they see no difference; divorce, alcoholism, drug addicts, sex addicts, active homosexuals and active single heterosexuals. These people are not struggling to fight the vice, they walk in it joyfully saying,
“Jesus set me free to sin, I’ll be fine!” These Christians(and I used to be one of them) grab onto verses like,
“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.“(1Corinthians10:23) And this is where most Christians stop, never reading on through to verse 33. If we did, the whole Christian community would look so different that many in the world would run after Jesus. They would learn that we are supposed to consider one another in all things and if something we are doing affects the conscience of a person in our presence, we are to not do it. In other words, if I think that drinking a wine cooler on a Saturday in my back yard pool is fine, than it is fine. However, if one of my younger Christian friends feels it could destroy me or that it is wrong, I will have a pool party just for me the following Saturday and keep the wine cooler in the fridge. I am to do all in my power not to stumble a brother or sister in Christ.
Grant it, there are many Christians who fight the good fight with God’s help against their own flesh but this is the silent minority. Mostly, the unbelieving world sees the rest and says,
“Why should I believe in Jesus, I’ll be the same, not full, not at peace, not content, not calm or joyful and I‘m sick of chasing things to make my heart feel better!” The loud majority are making Jesus look like a liar! Jesus told the truth when He said,
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 Also the verse Romans 15:13 says it beautifully,
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with the hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
These Freedom from responsibility Christians asked Him to take over their life one day and have spent the rest of their days chasing things of this world and living in selfish inconsideration of their brothers and sisters in Christ and unbelievers. In buying into the world’s lie of what is good for another might not be so for a different person, what I love to call “Moral Ambiguity,“ they have stumbled brothers and sisters in Christ, something we have been told not to do,
“Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense.” What does this mean? If you are doing something that your conscience bothers you about or a brother’s or sister’s conscience bothers them about stop. Especially while they are around.
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the Church of God” 1 Corinthians 10:31-32. Jon Courson wrote commentaries on the WHOLE bible and I use them in my studies, he points out that Paul gave us a guideline in three questions from this verse. Anything you are about to do as you strive to walk with Jesus should be filtered through these three questions,
1) Can I thank the Lord in it?
2) Will God be glorified through it?
3) Will someone be tripped up by it?

If you can’t remember those three questions, I think the question from the book, In His Steps by Charles Sheldon, fabulously wrapped them into one question, “What would Jesus do?” This will answer all three and if Christians seriously asked themselves this question we would turn the world upside down!! We would have our liberty in Christ and it would be right, Freedom with Responsibility!
Having once thought in this fashion, I lived for three years in the idea that I was free from responsibility, I hate to think how many unbelievers I turned away from the Lord. I hate to think how many sisters and brothers in Christ I stumbled and for that I am so sorry. God has used this past year and 8 month separation from my soul to teach me, that He gave me freedom from my sin, not from responsibility. He saved me from this lie! The fullness and peace I have in Him now I cannot describe. I love being with Him and fellowshipping with Him and my brothers and sisters in Christ! He has filled the Jesus-shaped hole in my heart and I am content. He promises that He will do just that in Daniel 11:35,
“Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified and made spotless until the time of the end, for it will still come at the appointed time.” God plucked my selfish walk from me and because He is so good and loving He took the extreme measures necessary to get it done. Thank God that He opened my eyes to His truth and gave me the courage to say yes and follow Him! Christians will stumble and the world uses that at every chance to point out the lie that is Jesus to use it as an excuse to stay lost. To those of us striving to stay upright, remember that Jesus gave us this gift of salvation and freedom and when we fall, He is the one there to pick us up and dust us off, just like a great big dandy daddy does when his toddler topples. Daddy knows his baby is going to fall, but he walks with him, waiting to pick him up, what a beautiful picture of Jesus with us! I love the story of the Pharisees who came to the disciples and asked them why Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners? Jesus hearing them replied,
“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 9:11-13 What an amazing truth? We have no mercy for ourselves when we stumble, the world will crucify us if they catch the fall but the only perfect being to walk the face of the planet, God in man, His only begotten Son, came to save the stumbling, bumbling sinners who are willing to run to His arms! It boggles my mind and I just fall more in love with Him every day!
So if we started living in the freedom of Christ with Responsibility what would happen? I think we would turn the world upside down, they would see these masses claiming to be in love with Jesus who looked so different for the most part. Sure, they would see the trips, but they would see the mercy that we used in response to one another and to them as unbelievers. It is not about the stumbling as a Christian, if you stumble or you stumble someone else, go to
God for help in getting up, help your brother and sister in Christ by apologizing and dusting them off. How amazing would that be? My mom used to say to me,
“Dani, life is going to knock you down, you’ll get bruised and hurt, but it isn’t about the wounds and falling, it is about getting up!” And so it is in our walk with the Lord, do not revel in the falling, do not stay on the ground, rejoice when you run to the Lord for help in getting up!

Even So, Come Lord Jesus Quickly come! Part 2

The next day came and the reeling from the present the night before started to slow down and I was ready. Again I laid my heart and life before the Lord. I wanted Him to have all of me and to teach me all He had for me.
Not only did the Lord use my husband as an example of the first coming of Jesus but also the time Jesus was here with His disciples. Now do not misunderstand me, my Savior is Jesus and above all things. But God teaches by using not only His word but real life examples. Nature, the Universe and my husband all teach me more and more about Him. I am sure kids will do the same thing for me. So there I was, pondering the three years that Mark and I had together before he was again abruptly ripped from my life.
Sweet sweet memories washed over me! Mark and I camping, on road trips, morning coffee and the sound of my husband’s laughter. I love to hear it, always it is as if my heart stands still to hear. Funny enough, I’m not able to bring it forth very often but I try very hard all the time, my husband can vouch for that. Mark tends to think silently in his mind, that was funny, and that is all I get. Perhaps because I have to work so hard for it, the ripples of his laughter have the same beautiful sound to me as the ripple of the oceans’ waves kissing the beach gently in the evening. I remembered his blue blue eyes as he gave me communion during our wedding ceremony, wow, just like Jesus gave the disciples the Passover Seder!
I remembered all my hours and hours of college courses and Mark taking care of the world around me to make sure nothing fell apart. How my car never needed me to scrape the windscreen because magically the ice fell off, rather, Mark helped it off. How some way the trash always ended up in the end of the driveway when it needed to, how amazing!
Mark did it all and took care of me in so many ways and taught me so many things. For instance, life has obstacles but you have to see the beauty around the obstacles. He taught me that up hill climbs are fun and that is the way life is, sometimes you have to climb uphill, but the view from the top is so worth it. Mark taught me that there are always things to count as blessings no matter how ugly it looks. He taught me that getting up at 0500 can be fun and absolutely make the day! Yeah, I smiled and realized that this is what the disciples must have done in their darkest hours. When they were sitting in those prisons for trying to spread the Gospel that would set the captive free, they remembered our Savior, Jesus! The heard His laughter and felt His hug! They remembered the meals they shared, the morning coffees and all the great talks about God and life, love, liberty and the pursuit of Holiness!(Which by the way is a great book by Jerry Bridges) How sweet it must have been for them when the Holy Spirit inspired them to write the Gospels as writing it they were showered with memories of their time with Jesus! How they would have made sure they got it right, how carefully, prayfully and inspired they would have been to write it! I would, because so great a love, so great a God I would want every one to know exactly how great He was. Just like I so carefully write about a man named Mark and how great he is, how much more for our God and Savior! Not to mention they had the Holy Spirit guiding their words! It reminds me of the ode that John wrote about Jesus in the opening of his Gospel:

The Holy Bible, New International Version. Pradis CD-ROM:Jn 1:1.

Jn 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
Jn 1:2 He was with God in the beginning.
Jn 1:3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.
Jn 1:4 In him was life, and that life was the light of men.
Jn 1:5 The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.
Jn 1:6 There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John.
Jn 1:7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe.
Jn 1:8 He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.
Jn 1:9 The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.
Jn 1:10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him.
Jn 1:11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.
Jn 1:12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—
Jn 1:13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
Jn 1:14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
Jn 1:15 John testifies concerning him. He cries out, saying, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’ ”
Jn 1:16 From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another.
Jn 1:17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
Jn 1:18 No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father’s side, has made him known.

Sounds like an ode done in love and inspiration. So that is what I was to do in my darkest hours. Remember the beautiful Jesus, the amazing things He had done in my life and our amazing times together. Just like when I longed so hard for Mark that I was sure my next breath wouldn’t come I would bath in memories of him. So that is what I do, in moments of despair I remember He healed my eyes! In moments of loneliness, I remember that the Lord brought us together from two different states, held our courtship in two different countries and would bring us together again! I would dwell on the sweet moments I had had with Jesus and think of all the times He had carried me and lifted me up. Just like the disciples I would remember the sweetness with Jesus, and just like I remember Mark and it brings him near, it does the same thing with Jesus! Thank God that He is so gentle and so loving towards us! I knew with this special revelation that I was going to make it until my groom returned, both Mark and Jesus! But that is a future story . . .