First, I just want to say that my husband tells me regularly that his looks are changing. I got this picture of him just today and I think he is even more gorgeous than last I saw him. I'm giving the Army no credit for it.(Maybe it is the mudbath) He is so handsome and my hero! He loves me so well even though he is in Iraq!I have come to realize through Mark and I's discussions that the deployed and the left behind go through similar emotions and pain, it just looks different because of where they are living. Interestingly, they both feel worlds apart. I remember Mark and I's first phone conversation after he arrived. I was like, "Wow, what do you say to someone who is in hell!" "Hi, honey, how are you? Oh, I'm lovely, I had tea this afternoon with my crumpet and then went out for an afternoon stroll! What about you? Oh, you were saving the world and protecting my country and my stroll, golly!" Bat eyes and put hand over my mouth, I felt just that silly. However, he wanted to hear it all, he wanted to hear about my life because he felt just as I did, that we were missing so much of each other! We were married but a scant three years when our souls were ripped in two, so the realization that again we would be apart, change apart and then be together again was a bit overwhelming. The fact is that we all always change. The greatest way to strangle another is by simply not giving them the freedom to become!
As Christian spouses we will change for the better as long as we are chasing hard after God. Now that doesn't mean that it is easier for us. It also doesn't mean that we are going to feel so good in our hearts when it is going on, in fact, we will probably feel wretched and want the world to stop spinning or at least our own. It is this difficult process that can scare the seperated spouses to death. Not to mention seldom does our heart feel like the change that God asks of us. It is important to realize that as seperated souls, both are scared, both are hurt, both are lonely and both do not want to be there(where ever there is). For as different as the physical hells(One Iraq - the other Left behind), the emotional hell is the same, a soul torn in two.
"So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matthew 19:6
It is at this time that the spouses must give one another loads of grace and reassure one another regularly. It doesn't matter the change that comes over the other, how wretched their heart may be feeling, how numb their mind might be, because you will always love them! It is in this time we have to abide in the Word even more and cling to the verse:
"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:3-6
In sum, embrace God, embrace each other and the change that comes with life, walk hand in hand toward the Lord and there will be storms, it will be painful, but then there is all the joy!
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