Joy Comes in the Morning

I've had several struggles in this past week that have brought to light for me that the darkest hours really do come just before the dawn!
First, sadly, and I really do mean this, I'm not perfect. I should walk in perfect joy before the Lord, or rather with the Lord. However, there come days when this does not happen. When the first thought in the morning is not, "This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it!" rather it is more like, "What, I woke up again and this nightmare called life is still going on, AHHHHHHHHH!" Thankfully, these days only come about every 21 beautiful and dandy days! However, when they come they are dark and dreary and I am a shadow of myself. In fact, you wouldn't want to be around me. You ask, how can I be so sure? Perhaps, you like a challenge and you think that you would be able to conquer the ugliness that wells up! Well, I don't want to be around me, and I'm an easy going fun loving, love every body type of person, so I know that no one should have to be around me. In fact, I've decided that when Mark and I are under the same roof again, whenever that is, I'm going to move into the attic on these days! That way he can carry on about his day being joyful in the Lord and I can go and eat lots of chocolate and keep my darkness to myself!!
Secondly, God is working a miracle in my heart. I'm amazed how some people are so conscious of Mark's absence from my life and how that must be affecting me. They pray for me and love me. They lay their troubles to the side for a moment and ask me, how are you? How is Mark? And then there are others who pretend it isn't happening, that my husband is in my same house, that life goes on as if nothing were screwed up. At first, this made me angry, the rage I felt towards the "apparent" selfishness of these people was more than I could bear. I decided I was going to not speak to them ever again, that since they obviously didn't care I wasn't going to care for them. Again, thankfully, God stepped in and took that silliness away. He showed me that maybe people didn't bring it up because they didn't know how it would affect me. Would I fall apart? They might not know the Lord was carrying me!!! So I thought I would annotate here how to treat someone whose spouse is deployed for the next century, I mean year.
1) Ask how the spouse is? This is probably the most important thing, do not try to gloss over their absence. The spouse left behind feels their absence constantly, so asking acknowledges that you too are aware of the absence and makes the spouse feel real(hard to explain but sometimes it can feel like a dream someone forgot to wake you up from).
2)Ask them how they are and if you can help. This gives them an opportunity to either A) glorify the Lord(if they are Christian) and talk about how He is carrying them. This is important because it reminds them of that truth and lets them hear it as they say it!(even if you believe it to be bunk) B) It gives them the opportunity to cry on your shoulder if they happen to be on day 22 and not 1 - 21.
3) Don't shield them from topics. If your spouse is away for two weeks and you miss them, say it. They can commiserate with you and wish a speedy return. If you had a great date with your other half, tell them, then they get to share a great date story with you and helps them remember vividly a dandy moment they had with their spouse.
4) Don't imagine them a hair's breath away from insanity or depression. Day 22 is rough, but all the other day's are dandy fine and they are probably doing fine(if they are walking with the Lord; trod delicately on this one if not).
5) Just love them like business is usual, don't be standoffish or scared, they are the same person, just half and most likely wanting everything else in life to be normal with them. The abnormality of the absent spouse is enough for them, they don't need more weirdness.
6) If you or a family member have been to Iraq(or whatever country the spouse is deployed to) it is okay to tell stories from there. I actually had a hilarious but sad experience where one started telling me the story of their brother and said, "Yeah, he went and had to come back early because his foot was injured with an IED(explosive device the other side likes to use)." Somewhere in the back ground I heard a record player skip and the chap looked at me chagrinned and said, "That prolly wouldn't happen now that was in the beginning." I smiled and said, "I'm sorry that happened to your brother, have they been able to repair his foot?" He smiled, appreciative of my ability to cope with the fact that injuries happen in war zones and said, "Yep, he is going to be 100%." I told him that I was happy for him and his brother and to not be uncomfortable to tell me stories.

I don't know if you know any one else in my situation. There are thousands left behind in Fort Bragg and all over the US and so chances are good that you do, so I hope this helps. I am not alone in this and knowing that also helps me keep a good perspective of the situation.
Thank you everyone for your love, prayers and support. I can't tell you how much they mean to Mark and myself. And those of you who have been uncomfortable, I apologize to you for initially thinking the worst and I'm thankful that the Lord gave me His perspective!