I get a little stronger, thank the Lord!

This morning I woke to torrential rain and driving wind. My curtians blew in the wind even though my windows were shut tight. My wounded Chilli lie next to me for which I was thankful as it was cold as ice! The alarm was screaming in my ear and all I could think was wouldn't it be nice if today were Saturday. Sadly, knowing it was only Thursday I rose from the rack very reluctantly. As I was getting ready I could not get a conflict at work that happened yesterday out of my head and kept mulling it over and wondering if I handled it alright. I found myself stuck on that train of thought and finally started praying over it, that God would give me wisdom in all situations and keep me from being petty or "fleshy" as I like to call it. After I broke free from the what ifs of yesterday I found myself thinking about Chilli, although my hubby is fine with me getting a blue staffie boy when she passes on it doesn't make me less apprehensive about her death, just less lonely when thinking of it. There will never be another Chilli! My mind wondered on and I realized that my heart was ultimately hurting and raw because of the absence of my best friend. It is funny, all these other things were mere distractions for the real cause of my hurt, my Marklessness. I have to give praise to the Lord though because we get to talk so much and it is only God that sorted that out. I am so thankful and I have grown so much and changed so much as a result of the experience. God has walked me through fire so I tend to be very calm. I remembered 2006 when I was panicing about something and had sunk to the depths of depression I found a verse that described me to a T:
The Holy Bible, New International Version. Pradis CD-ROM:Jas 1:6.
But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
I was the doubter, I had seen God work in a million ways in my life, my relationship had been so strong with Him before I got on the Shift schedule, so I knew what He could and would do for us, yet any mishap that cropped up and I was reeling. My husband was amazing and so inspiring as I watched him always be constant always be strong. He took his PCS quietly and always had something good to say about it. I on the other hand thought,
"Why is God doing this to us? Hadn't we spent enough time apart?" It wasn't until after Mark was gone that God started showing me all He planned. Like Romans 8:28:
The Holy Bible, New International Version. Pradis CD-ROM:Ro 8:28.
And we know that in all things God works for the good jof those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
So what about now, I found myself thinking this morning. Chilli was diagnosed with cancer, did I go crazy and into depression, nope I go to the Lord in prayer. Work has its hiccups, did I rage on and on when I got home, unable to think, nope I poured my heart out before the Lord and did those things I had committed to doing in the evening after work. I thanked the Lord as I walked out the door to my car, I was going to be such a better wife, daughter, sister and friend! I had already been, many people in my life now do not know the fleshy Dani, the real one that she is without the love and Holy Spirit changing her and making her better. They don't believe me when I tell them how I was and I sadly say,
"Ask Mark when he comes for a visit, he'll tell you in what a sad state I was in." I smiled as I started the car, God had brought me so far. I started backing out of the drive way and my car felt really funny, like it didn't want to move or as if I had left the emergency break on. I stopped the car and put the emergency break on, thinking I would check the tires. What should I see but my tire, flat as a pancake, what? Oh, dandy, I'll call work and figure out what else from there. Interesting, isn't it? The old Dani would have thrown a pity party about all the trials that can befall one little dandy Dani, but did I? Nope, I prayed the Lord would help me figure it out and even when I got out the manual to figure out the spare and it didn't go with my car did I get upset? Nope, I laughed out loud and called AA, they came to save the day! God is so good and life is too!