War and Marriage

My husband and I have lived apart now for 1 year 1 months and 18 days, not that I am counting. The Army decided that they needed him more than I, while we differ on this point I do not really tell them about my disagreement. I was feeling really alone because I am living in a place where I know of no one else going through this. How does the left behind spouse generally feel? Why does God not bring him home even though I beg and plead and cry and scream!?

I realized that God is trying to build within me perserverance, but it hadn't been a trait I was concerned with developing. To be honest, I didn't know He cared so much about it until I started walking this walk and WHAM! perserverance, next stop on this train of life! God wants us to be strong in Him, unwavering, long suffering and faithful. I believe that where He wants us is Revelation 13:10
If anyone is to go into captivity, into captivity he will go. If anyone is to be killed with the sword, with the sword he will be killed. This calls for patient endurance and faithfulness on the part of the saints.
This tells me that God has a plan and while it is good for me according to Him, Romans 8:28, that doesn't mean that by my human standard it is going to look good. So I shall ride this boat and be thankful that through the internet the Lord has connected me with spouses riding this same ride. He didn't just ask this of me, but of thousands and is carrying all of us that let Him and believe that He will.

I also found something to be thankful for in this seperation and that is the release from taking my wonderful husband for granted. Mark is a joy and is a husband I could sing about for years to come, his sensitivity, kindness, love and unending optimism, even when it looks like there is nothing to hope for. He takes to heart Phil 4:8:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.

I have learned to dwell on that as well, waiting for a 15 month deployment to end means I have to force my mind to dwell on what is right in order to survive. However, we have to dwell on beautiful things even inside of our marriages once the deployments are over. We have to focus on the beautiful things about our spouses and hope they return the favor as we have our own "quirks." It seems that couples I see who do not have to endure seperation take each other for granted and dwell on those things they hate about their spouse. Even to the point they will talk about them to others, behind their husband's back! They will point out every flaw and completely forget Phil 4:8.

I believe that Deployment can not only help us to be long suffering with the Lord, to learn to accept His will and delight in it, but can also teach us how to be in our marriages. Knuckle down, roll up our sleeves and delight in our spouses, as we delight in the Lord. Suddenly those things that hurt us about life and the things that they do that annoy us will fade in the background covered by love and joy in the Lord!